There was no warning label at the wedding about pregnancy or the 4th Trimester when married to a coach. I definitely was not told that I would be leaving the hospital alone, with my newborn. I could not predict HG would cause me to live away from my spouse, because he was unable to support me and our 1 year old due to his schedule .
The fourth trimester is the hardest chapter of my life, I am fresh out of a c section, with no ability to sit up on my own. I have a toddler that still needs his mama. I also have a difficult time asking for help or showing any signs of vulnerability, so the assumption is that I’m doing fine.
Outside of the physical pain and mental struggles, the hardest part is to have a husband that is willing to do every night shift , day shift , clean and cook, live across the country.
To go 60,90,100 days at a time without seeing my husband and solo parenting is not for the weak.
But no complaining here, we both committed to this football life. I remember telling my husband that some days I won’t want to commit to football, but don’t let me stand in your way. Emotions are temporary, some days, weeks, months, years are harder than others, so we can’t let a temporary feeling make a lifetime decision. The sacrifice will pay off, I know the reward is greater than the struggle.
Here are my tips for preparing for a baby during the season :
Have an early shower. This gives you time to organize before you are physically too uncomfortable or too tired.
Hire a doula , football schedules are insane and you don’t want to be alone while you wait for your spouse to arrive. The doula can also support during pregnancy with a lot of the tasks mentioned below.
Organize organize organize , every closet, baby clothes by the month, your kitchen, pumping parts, bottles ,your closet, anything that can make your life easier.
Wash all of your clothes and the newborns clothes
Have your husband do what he can, mailing in disability papers, birth certificate forms, install car seat, etc. There is a post office on every campus!
If finances allow, have a few services on deck, housekeeper , a wash and fold service , Instacart, one less thing for mom!
Purchase a deep freezer and stock up on groceries so you won’t need to leave the house. Stock up on toilet paper, paper towel, water, detergent and dry goods/ snacks.
Ignore negativity, many ppl will tell you why you can’t do it, or why it’s so hard. Why your husband should give up his passion and choose a different career. The negative energy makes it worse, we know what we signed up for and we are fully capable with a positive mindset.
Be prepared with a car organizer, have extra diapers, pumps , baby clothes, mom clothes in the car. This will prevent you from being overwhelmed when you forget something.
Don’t rush. It isn’t worth it. New mom, or seasoned mama, will take a little longer to get out of the house. I keep two diaper bags packed and ready to go just for an emergency.
I still do not rush for anyone, and we all will get there when we get there!
